One of the issues that keeps being highlighted to me in situations where I am spiritually hurt by leaders is through their administration systems and rules. Large churches that are promoted as being spirit led often “miss it” when tested in practicing what they preach, causing disillusionment, disappointment and lost hope for those who are led to them. This often centres around the topic of money. Some of these churches have large financial resources for their building funds and programs or from their merchandise sales of which they were freely given the content but do not freely give to those in need. With all the churches closing at the moment due to the government regulations around the virus it is forcing people to think about true community in house churches or meeting online in community. I believe the lord is using this time to humble the larger churches as to where their focus has not been on intimacy with him and care for those that are led to community. The biblical model for community was designed to have believers living together and meeting together and supplying for each others burdens but in todays church systems what I often see is […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNfeb3t4OCU&t=324s Forgiveness is a journey that can seem like it rips your heart to shreds. The chatter of voices with their many opinions demanding forced honour and forgiveness can tear at the very leaves of healing that have began to grow. So how do you journey through healing and protect your eyes and ears from the mis use of biblical concepts or ignorant people? I don’t know the answer to this yet as I am still suffering, but journey with me a while while I try to find the answers. Spend time with the lord in the secret place of your heart Seek his healing presence Find activities that bring you peace amidst the turmoil Find ways to express your grief that help you move forward Only allow a select group of safe people to speak into your life Find positive hopeful goals that turn the damage into purpose So what is spiritual abuse and how do you know if that is what you are suffering from? Maybe these questions will help you identify if you have church hurt where you have been injured: You have been injured by leaders in a church that have tried to control you and […]
The lovers of my heart for a lost and broken world drink the fine wine of mercy and compassion. The lovers of my heart soak in my love till they are saturated in my goodness and drenched in my hearts desires meeting theirs. Broken by a world of opinions fighting for time in my head. My heart playing tug-of-war with the relentless voices that instruct how I should think and behave. Am I being controlled by witchcraft? Are witches praying against me? I cancel their curses and make them bless me in Jesus name. I see your filthy thoughts agaisnt me and you have no power. Am I being drowned by the torment of the pain of isolation where the strings of my heart have been connected to others that dont want to talk to me anymore. Tormenting thoughts reminding me my heart is broken beyond repair. Designing my recovery of restoration to wholeness to prove I am ok, if not to my haters then to myself.
I have a story theme about chest boards and to me it’s about making the right move at the right time and about being able to be positioned or position others at the right place and the right time for the purpose of to make a difference. One of the things that I’m really passionate about is the issues that are in the Australian mental health system and mental health stigma. And I’m in a friends place spending some time with them and we’ve been having a chat about the challenges in the mental health system and I’m in Newcastle at the moment which is a place where I experienced some of the things that I have with the mental health system. What I’d like to bring attention to as a justice issue is that there is abuse going on in the mental health system and it’s not just something I experienced or something that’s not still going on. It’s still going on and it’s basic human rights that, because of the way that the laws are set up are allowed to be abused. For example people’s choice to decide if they’re medicated or not, to be able to choose […]
I heard this song in my dream after wearing a C3 Church Oxford Falls dreamer shirt yesterday and this is a poem I wrote a while ago. After dreaming about being on my knees for revival I couldn’t sleep so I wrote this poem. Revival in the dusty red earth, it rises in the sun burnt hearts. Until it starts to flood the nation, cascading words with revelation to the tv station. It’s from ones knelt on their knee, for the ones that cannot see. It’s an Aussie handshake deal from above, its a thought for those who’ve lost their first love. It’s an outback cry for mercy, It’s looking up to the son. It’s the chats in quite cafes, on a dry and barren run. A whisper to Australia’s soul, We are Australian. We are one body, and we are many. And from all the churches we come. We sing with one voice in the spirit. I am, you are we are favoured by the son. And we write your story on the hearts, of those that choose to have a fresh start. In the great south land of the Holy Spirit, we see revival, we see your kingdom […]
People are tender hearts like delicate tissue paper to handle with care in the prophetic. I really feel a strong burden for the pain caused by systems and structures where the value of the person and heart is not honoured and the rules or system or structure or agenda is more important. I wish I didn’t have to experience pain so deeply to be a voice for these things but I guess I wouldn’t write about it if it didn’t hurt enough to push me to, but I can love harder and that is the difference I want to encourage in others. https://youtu.be/r_8ydghbGSg When you feel like you are always fighting with darkened words and views unkind, clothe yourself in my light and love. I am the one you look to from above, I see, I hear, I am near. My beloved don’t shed a tear, I know it hurts I hate to see you cry. It’s me you look for in their words, let me give them to another for you to taste my goodness.
Conflicted, nuclear weapons of mass dysfunction. Caught in a world of endless pain. Saturated by war torn countries in my brain. I see the faces in the street, their limbs torn off by their defeat. Will you hold them in your arms as they cry? Will you hold them in your arms and watch them die? Is it worth it? For your power and greed, will you watch by and not see them free? Is it your son? Your daughter in the field? Innocent victims of political agendas and blind eyes turned to pain? Open up your eyes! He’s screaming in the streets. My children are dying, my children are crying, how can you even sleep, at night in your cosy rose coloured glasses homes? Deceived by the pride of your hearts of relentless tos and frows of lifes a to z, ticking off your boxes of this makes me a success, while wrinkled worn out faces pick up rubbish from the gutters, trying to make something to sell to feed their brothers. Have you seen them beg? Have you seen the desperate silent screams in their eyes that say, father forgive them for withholding your love from me, may […]
Missy Higgins is a musician I have loved the music of since I was in my 20’s and I have found great value in her songs expressions from her heart. She is so raw and honest in her messages, that even if I dont agree with everything she says I can still appreciate the beauty in her life and the way she can set others free to be themselves. When I came across this song it highlighted an area of freedom about not being in boxes. Sometimes we can be involved in the narrative of a group and have a desire to perform and please so much that we can loose our own identity as a person with dreams and hopes of their own. Pushing them down for the sake of a cause only to find out we are in a system where individuals needs and emotions are disregarded for a supposed greater good. This to me is where systems and structures that are designed to create a desired outcome can actually hurt the people they are designed to help. We can actually be caught up in a kind of witchcraft where we are in a prophetic flow which has […]
Aa your system is broken It’s speaking curses and increasing addictions I’m sorry to offend, but its not a happen’n trend The system is broken Undo the chains in the minds in your groups confides Im sorry you trusted me in your secret society room, but its broken and I have to say it to fix you, don’t think I dis you, I still miss you, I just can’t let you stay the same, because I want you to say his name and proclaim, the truth, not lies, be captives set free, to see, to soar with me. Its not a mending net if it doesn’t really connect, the hearts to the father, set free of memories of addictions that could be turned to smiles.
You can bet a heart in a game that you didn’t mean to play that way. You can bet a life in a way that you didn’t want to end that way. You can be addicted to the gamble of putting your heart on a sleeve that says can you see the Jesus in me he is inside? I am jealous, like he is Jealous of your hearts, I want the hearts, I want the clock that ticks around my heart strings and moves them in a river of melodies undiscovered. Did I say words that are not fitting in the conforming minds? Did I be myself too much to be the respected in your eyes? Should I wear black or white and can both colours work together to bring truth? I love too much to easily and it breaks my heart when I dance in ballerina shoes and get disconnected from the views of green pastures of soaking love, entwined in words and views and systems that don’t flow the way we do.
You can watch a thief but you can’t trust a lier and you can watch me burn and hear me cry but thats ok because I love the way it hurts and I still love you when you lie. My heart stolen in locational visions. I let you see the parts that were not pretty enough, the heart too broken like a Casey chambers country ballad. Bad dreams that show the things behind the scenes, should I undo the seems in the tapestry of patterns of unfulfilled gangsta games inspired. Just give me a reason, to not be broken with scars on my heart. That I can learn to love people again, I can find all the song lines to link the stories of emotions and make them into devotions. Just give me a reason, to not be broken, dancing with the stars written on our hearts, stars dancing with Jesus when others thought they were just talking pretend, sometimes people just want someone to listen and be their friend.
This is a post for those that feel rejected and isolated, for those who feel like they cant find a place and fit in. This is a post for those who the enemy has used the church against to make them believe that God is not for them or interested in them being loved into the kingdom and out of being an orphan. I have noticed this theme happening enough in my own life to realise that it must be a pain point for many that are too scared to walk into churches for fear of rejection. Have you ever been told by a church that you are not welcome to attend, that they don’t like you or that it is not your place, you dont fit in, we dont like you, or you cause too much trouble? We dont see you as part of our vision or worse just ignore your communication? Don’t worry the religious people tried to get rid of Jesus too and guess who the type of people where that he liked to hang out with? Recently I have noticed God using the phrase through some people that I meet to heal me of these rejection […]
Shy and quite high achiever that wins awards, university material her teachers proclaim. Wins the junior princess competition and her profile soars. Some jealous peers want to pull her down, Can’t handle their remarks she wants to fit in with the crowd. She gets invited to a party and they are all in shock, that the high achieving perfect princess thinks she can be part of their flock. So she counts the ways she can make herself fit, purposely dumbing down her grades desperate to find her place. So she goes to those party’s and wears the right clothes, she drinks and takes drugs to be part of the heard. She gets with the boys to copy her friends, giving away the most precious gift her virginity goes. She gets her heart broken and settles for less, her hsc mark is rotten she doesn’t realise but she’s setting her life up to be a mess! Those habits formed infiltrate her plans, and she goes into a relationship that causes damage and strife. The perfect destiny that God had designed, gone out the window for the love she wanted to find. Purity and innocence taken away, living with an unfaithful […]
So This week I have been seeing the term shine around a lot in the lead up to a conference to do with that and how God wants women to shine brightly. But at the same time my heart aches and is heavy with things that try to darken my shine in representing him. It’s not hard to know what is causing darkness in your heart, it seems like I just get my heart all shinny and then someone tries to come and mess it up again. I feel like taking my heart of the table so that it doesn’t keep getting broken when it is not valued and maybe there is a time to recognise when God doesn’t you to keep putting up with things that are not healthy. The thought on my heart at the moment is rejection. Where people don’t feel welcome, even though God says they are welcome. One of our basic human needs is for belonging, but I have had so many experiences that start out with belonging and then sooner or later I end up getting rejected and hearing the shake the dust off… This experience seems to be more common for prophetic people […]
